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再醒来已是清晨，见到已好几天不休不眠的温柔趴伏在她的病c黄c黄沿，脸色灰白，头发凌乱，衣服皱痕明显，过往一切如潮水般涌上温暖的心田，凝视温柔疲惫中沉睡的脸孔，在该刹那温暖完全放下了往事。第八天她的胃翻江倒海，吐得肠子都翻了却只吐出一口苦水，奇异的是，吐完之后胃腹反而平稳下来，人渐觉精神，中午和晚上已可以吃下五分之一碗的稀粥。同样的情景在下一日重复上演，胃里闹腾，恶吐，吐完反常地精神转好，勉强可以进食‐‐每顿她只吃得下几调羹的流质食物。夜里依然不平实，漫长夜半，每两小时即从梦中咳醒，睡睡咳咳。清晨朦胧，翻身间两眼骤开刹那再次幻觉凝聚，似见一道人影立在她盖着c黄单的脚边，半透明的长身，幽然淡黯的眼眸，心里想不可能的，复眨眼后也不知是幻影消失还是她又沉迷睡去，翌日清早醒来，只觉依稀一梦。仍然无法象平常一样饮食，但已感觉精神好转良多，晚饭后温柔用轮椅推着她出去散步，从前所熟悉的自己的身体，大病初愈后仿似已成陌生之躯，此时再见花糙人树，恍惚中只觉如同隔世。她想站起来，膝盖却酸软无力，腿轻飘飘的似没着体。紫藤架下，晚风习习，右手指尖习惯性拂向鬓边，落空时才记起，早在上一世已剪掉三千烦恼丝，忍不住微微失笑，不恨天涯行役苦，只恨西风吹梦成今古。原来，已成今古。经历有生以来最大病劫，灵魂往他世转过一趟后人似被点化，心胸豁然彻悟，只觉世间种种都不重要，即使景再好，情再深，呼朋唤友或树仇立敌，再怎么投入，若注定无福消受，所谓良辰美景也不过是一场镜花水影。夜半时分，深静悄暗，月光从窗外洒进来。吱呀一声有人推门而入，温暖被惊醒，迷茫中看向站在门口的暗影，有两道幽如渊潭的眸光落在她微微惊惶的脸。占南弦在原地站了良久，直到她从迷朦中清醒，脸上惊惧的神色慢慢退去，他才缓步踱到c黄边，拉过椅子坐下在她跟前。&ldo;南弦。&rdo;她轻声道，右手从白色被子里抽出，抬起向他。他伏下身来，握着她的手，把脸颊贴上她的掌心，合上眼轻轻摩挲。好半响，他才轻柔道，&ldo;我真的恨你。&rdo;微微沙哑的声线带出无人知晓的凄酸，埋在心底已多少年。她苦涩地轻裂嘴角，&ldo;我知道。&rdo;&ldo;不，你不知道。&rdo;他轻吻她的指尖，每一根，然后逐一噬咬，&ldo;你根本不知道我有多恨你……你记住，在你对我的恨如同我恨你一样深之前，你不能死，不能走，不能有事。&rdo;她惊惶，不安地看着他，&ldo;你要我……恨你？&rdo;&ldo;单方面的爱无法维持太久，很容易就会被时光冲走，如果爱和思念没有变成又深又痛的恨，也许我早已经遗忘了你……&rdo;他俯身，微悄气息在她的唇边徘徊，如同亟欲勾魂，&ldo;恨我吧，用你爱我的心来恨我，用你的恨来牢记我，用我曾痛彻肺腑的思念，来还给我……用你的恨，来还我的恨吧。&rdo;&ldo;南弦……&rdo;她惶惑无助地抓紧他的手，为什么要她恨他？他明知她无法做到，恨他，最痛的那个人只会是她。他喃喃细语，&ldo;暖……你不明白，只有当你象我一样，爱一个人爱到无比痛恨，恨到自己几乎发狂，恨到了锥心刺骨万念俱灰求死不能，只有尝过那种滋味你才会领悟，我曾经爱你多深……只有当你恨我，当你的心经历我所经历过的，你才会了解，这些年来我等你等得多苦，曾多痛和多绝望……&rdo;一滴冰凉透明的水珠，从他一动不动的长睫，滴落在她的掌心。&ldo;就算是千针齐刺，也比不上你离开后我心头万分之一的惨伤……你知道吗？如果你不回来，这一生我无法复原。&rdo;她作声不得，胸腹中涌起的痛楚堵得心口几乎不能呼吸，只想牵他的手去就自己的脸，无能为力地想籍此让他心安，想告诉他她从来不知道自己伤他这样深，想拥抱他抚慰他，想和他倾谈很多很多说话。他反握她的手，站了起身，手掌既眷恋不舍又决然绝然地，轻轻从她的指fèng间滑走，只有语声依旧轻柔，&ldo;恨我吧，只有这样我才知道，这一次，你爱我有多深。&rdo;&ldo;南弦……&rdo;她惊惶地看着他悄然后退的身影，急声叫了起来，&ldo;别走！南弦……我知道我错了，这次一定不会再和以前一样，我再也不会离开，我发誓！再也不会，求你信我一次，不要走……南弦……南弦……&rdo;西下的斜月隐入黑云，寂夜中诡异地&ldo;砰&rdo;声一响，玻璃碎裂的清脆声尖锐得惊魂，令人从c黄上扎起。
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