第39节(第2页)
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“可你给我的是什么?是另娶她人!”
她蜷缩着指尖,整个人都在颤抖:“可你便真的没爱过我吗?虞归晏眉目有三四分像我,琴棋书画更是与我肖似,你把她养成了我的模样,娶了她,却从不愿意来找我!为什么!你告诉我为什么!”
临到最后,甚至连她自己都已分不清自己的眼泪到底是在骗人,还是真的痛了。
顾玄镜感觉到背后一阵湿意,他微阖了眼,想起过往种种,清冷的语气到底是缓和了些:“青澜,对不起。”
乔青澜似笑非笑,似哭非哭,“可我要的不是它啊!”
忽而,她似乎想起了什么,松开了他,走到他身前,仰望着他,眼底满是期冀:“我错了,你也错了。我们一起忘了那些错,重新开始,我们重新开始好不好?”
“那日我的语气的确是因着你隐瞒了安乐的消息而急切了些,但这并非是我要让你离开的原因。”
他看向她,眼底情绪难辨,“正如你所说,我错了。我错在不应该因为想报恩师之情而许诺了要娶你,也错在让你误会娶她是因为你,更错在看不清自己对安乐的感情。”
“你离开之后,父王虽是不允,更是阻拦,但我并非没有私下找过你,只是未曾找到。之后决定养安乐,娶安乐,最初只是因为我不喜受到钳制罢了,哪怕这个人是父王。”
“至于安乐的琴棋书画有三四分肖似你,一来是因为当时安乐还年幼,我又从未接触过旁的闺秀,不知如何教养她,便会时常让她拿着你的书帖临摹,学着你的琴谱研习;二来,那时我很忙,没有多余的空闲去亲自教导安乐,等我承爵了,安乐的书画却是定了性,我也无法匡正了,索性并非什么大事,也便由着她了。”
顾玄镜的声音穿透厚重的夜幕清晰地闯入乔青澜耳中,犹如一记惊雷炸响。乔青澜踉跄着险些跌倒,失声惊叫道:“怎么可能!”
怎么可能!
便是当年五月初五那日夜断魂桥头的话是她故意捏造给虞归晏听的,可他又怎么可能从未爱过她!
她哀哀地看向他,眼中不自觉的带着乞求之色:“玄镜,你在骗我对不对?你只是为了让我放弃对不对?”
顾玄镜却是道:“我从未骗过你,如今也不会。”
短短十一个字,乔青澜却是要捏碎掌中肉,鲜红的血迹自她掌心滑落,一滴滴滴在她月牙白的裙面。
何其可笑!他从没爱过她!
从始至终都不过是她一厢情愿!
教她如何能相信!
可他目视着她,饶是她竭尽全力,也寻不到半分情意,又教她如何能不相信!
**
虞归晏犹豫了两日都未曾下定决心,毕竟能立刻解决林氏的诱惑太大。待得到了慕先生说的那日,她还未下定决心,却是有人帮她做了决定。
晨后,她如往常用了膳食便要在闺房内歇息些时辰,可却是突然睡了过去,再醒来时,人已经在客香居,连身上的衣衫都换了。
背对着她而立的是身着灰衣的慕先生。似乎察觉到了她的醒来,慕先生转了身:“既然醒了,那便随离月去邀月楼吧,莫耽误了时辰。”
虞归晏未动,只紧紧盯着慕先生:“师父为何不经过我的同意便将我带来了此处!”
昏睡过去之前,其实她已经做了决定,她不会应慕先生的要求去客香居!便是她无法依靠自己之力找出证据,她还可以让闻祁帮忙。林氏不过是商贾之女,闻祁查林氏应当不难。再不济,她便让闻祁伪造证据诬陷林氏!
无论如何都好过于她冒险来客香居。
“有区别吗?”
慕先生却是不疾不徐地道。
虞归晏翻身下榻:“有区别。”
到底是顾及面前之人的来历,她缓了缓,道,“师父,我不想去,我回府。”
慕先生道:“你可以现在就回去。”
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